Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Should I Say Yes... the offer of a book deal?


Sup, bitches? Fuck, I didn't know you were all that horny! Haha.

So, I contacted some of you who showed interest re: my last post. 8 out of 10 were just curious about my price and my looks, and the other 2 who were actually serious about the transaction, I'm meeting later this week.

Of the 8 annoying faggots who wasted my time, 5 offered to take me out on a date. Rule number 1: I DON'T DATE THE SAME SEX. I don't even hang out with my friends, for fuck's sakes.

Within a few days of finding out my number, some of you motherfuckers thought it would be really cool to pass it along. So now, I am beset with intrigued, lonely faggots who "just want to have a talk".

RULE NUMBER 2: I DON'T LIKE CHATTING WITH YOU GUYS. I'm anti-social, motherfuckers. Deal with it. I DON'T want to hear your coming out stories, I don't want to deal with your imagined stories of persecution. I am a professional psychologist-slash-escort; people PAY TO TALK WITH ME OR HAVE SEX WITH ME. You DON'T get to talk with me about YOUR PROBLEMS for free.

So, let me lay out some ground rules, people. If you want to have a "CHAT" with me, you're going to pay for my PROFESSIONAL CONSULTATION FEES. That's slightly higher than my escorting fees, so you might as well get on all fours and take my cock up your ass because it's cheaper.

And, oh, yeah. I changed my numbers now. STOP CALLING.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Whoring for a Cause

Ok, so here's the deal.

I'm going to drop my rates really low. For at least 500php, you can give me a blowjob for 30mins. That's an unbelievably cheap price considering who I am.

Now, all of that--the entire 500php--will be donated to charity. I'll be giving it all to a relief ops of my choice that is involved in helping out victims of the two recent typhoons.

This promo will run for a week only. From October 19-25.

Leave your contact details in the comments section if you're interested.