How to Manipulate Your Gay

Everybody has a gay. Be it a lover, a friend, a professor, or a new acquaintance. A gay can be very beneficial to a boy, a young man, or someone who looks like either a boy or a young man.

With my expertise as a master mindgamer, manipulator, and damn fucking hot sex machine, I am now arguably the definitive go-to guy when it comes to training hustler wannabes into the art of manipulating a gay for benefits. I am now sharing them with you through the goodness of my heart. Listen well, my young padawans, and listen good.

The key to successfully manipulating a gay for benefits is confidence. You must gain your mark's confidence through careful suggestions, hints, and behavior. It's not how good you look, how well built you are, or how big your dick is. It's all about how well you play the con game. I have long diagnosed myself to have malignant narcissism, and unless you can admit to having one as well, then you can not pull a successful con.

If you have worked in a call center long enough, or if you have experience working for Famly First, then you'll find this relatively easy.

First, some clarifications: at the heart of any confidence trick is the victim's (or "the mark", sometimes "the target") own greed. A good conman doesn't play with people's TRUST, he plays with their CONFIDENCE. There's a difference. People get tricked into scams not because they're trusting, but because they are confident that they will gain something great by engaging with the con artist.

Thus, one should not feel sorry to con a gay. You can NEVER trick an honest gay, only the greedy ones, the ones with hidden motives, the ones with the secret desires, can be truly corrupted.

Moving on... here are some pointers on how to successfully manipulate your gay for benefits.

I. Treat him like a man.

Gays enjoy the cursory illusion of being treated like "one of the boys". Call them "pare" as much as you can, they'd like that. EVEN IF they admit they're gay, you have to keep on ignoring that and pretend that you "don't believe" he is gay.

Say things like: "Pare, sumama ka lang lagi sa kin, gagawin kitang tunay na lalake." And "Pare, sayang ka, eh. Siguro, kung susubok ka lang ng chicks, makakabuo ka kaagad."

Invite them to play basketball. Don't worry. They will never play basketball. Gays don't play basketball, they play volleyball. If your mark's a tall gay, then you can say things like "Pare, sayag, dapat nagbabasketball ka, dami mo siguro chicks." They will love that.

Pretend IGNORANCE. Even if your gay is starting to hint interest in you, IGNORE HIS ADVANCES in order to challenge him more. Gays are biologically male, and as such, are tied to the psychology of being excited when facing challenges.

BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE: Never ever treat your gay like a woman. Treating a gay like a woman will make him believe you are interested in something romantic. He will start behaving like a girl, and like a true female, will start MAKING DEMANDS. You DON'T want that. You don't want your gay to send you messages like "Bakit di ka nagtetext?" or "Hmph." or asking you questions about the friends you're keeping.

II. Invest in Your Gay

Every peso you invest in your gay will have a profit margin of 10x ROI. Part of gaining a gay's confidence is making him believe that you are financially independent (You ARE financially independent; you just enjoy spending his money instead of yours) and are not interested in his money. This will also CHALLENGE him into OUT DOING the amount you have spent on him.

Treat a gay into a frappucino in the ballpark of 100-php and you can expect to be treated to a movie and dinner amounting to 1000-php. Wear a 500-php shirt, and he might give you a pair of 5,000-php shoes. This is mathematics.

III. Always Smell Strong

It doesn't matter if you smell good or you smell bad as long as your body scent is STRONG AND OVERWHELMING. Bathe in cheap Afficionado perfume (that is, if you can't afford original, expensive perfumes like I can) or don't shower for 3 days. This is an either-or tip.

Gays are big on smells. They want to smell you a lot. A person's scent is a subconscious reminder to his significant others of his presence when out of the line of vision. You must establish your presence with your scent.

When playing rough with your "pare", make sure he gets a health dose of your armpits. Pretend you're not conscious of how you smell.

IV. Show Some Skin

Show some skin--BUT NOT A LOT, AND NOT OFTEN.

The technique is to give them a bit to stir their phantom wombs, but not enough to satisfy them, and not often enough that they get accustomed to your body. Never let a gay get familiarized with your physique, or you will lose the whole con altogether.

V: Profit

Finally, when it comes to reaping the rewards of your hard work, do so subtly.

Make your mark think IT'S HIS IDEA to "help" you out. Never suggest a solution, but present "your problem" in such a way that the solution is clear, and he would make the leaps of logic easily without your help.

Sample dialogue: "So, yun. Di ko nga alam kung saan ako kukuha ng pang-tuition eh. Kung may mahihiraman lang ako, makakapag-bayad naman ako sa susunod na padala ni mama."

Always put up a token resistance. "Ano ba, nakakahiya naman. Baka sabihin nila, ano." is a classic reply to ANY AND ALL OFFER OF ASSISTANCE.

Do not ask for anything; always pretend you're just "borrowing".

When going around the mall with your gay, it would be helpful if you make your tastes clear in order to help him pick out a birthday/graduation/special occassion gift for you next time that he's alone. "Fuck, sayang, mahal pala tong bagong Nike Zoom Le Bron VI! Gustong gusto ko pa naman."

Not all benefits are financial. You can ask your gay for help on matters concerning your studies, or for other opportunities:

"Shit, ambobo ko talaga. Babagsak na naman ako sa class kasi di ko magawa ng tama tong project ko."

"Kung makakahanap lang ako trabaho, di makakatulong na ako kina mama."

"Buti ka nga may auto, eh. Ako, pa-commute-commute lang. Kailangan ko pa naman pumunta ng Subic para pick-upin yung padala ni Mama sa tita ko dun."

Bonus Tip: One of the best scam to pull on a gay once you've gained his confidence is the Multilevel Marketing Scam Gay Version: "Pare, ayos yung in-ooffer sa akin nung kaibigan ko. 14,500 lang ang fee, tapos kada-2 downline, may 500 ako, plus automatic, 10,000 pesos na GC's sa Jennelyn Shoes at Play and Display. Sulit di ba? Yun nga lang, san naman ako kukuha ng 14,500. Sayang. Kayang-kaya ko mag-sali ng mga tao sa downline ko eh."

This is an easy con to pull because your gay will be interested in the profit as well. He will see this as a joint venture.

But of course, you're not really putting that money into any multilevel marketing scheme, are you? Not when you can afford a new cellphone with that money.

So, after a few weeks, you need to put on another act: "Putang... Ulol talaga yung Jhong na yun! Tinakbo pera ko! Uupakan ko yun pagnakita ko eh!"


There. I hope that helps. If you have any questions or clarifications, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

Yours,
Boy De Jour