Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sa Lahat ng Nagtetext at Tumatawag

I knew I was doing something stupid when I posted my number in public.

A lot of you have been calling and sending me messages, and if you have then you know I almost ALWAYS never reply (hurray for contradicting a contradiction!). Anyway, I have grouped most of your queries into a set of FAQ's--which would somehow explain as well why I don't call back or text back.

1. Are you really BDJ? Is this BDJ's number?

IF you're texting the number you got from THIS blogsite, then yes. If you're doubting me, then how can you trust me enough for a meet-up? If you're going to call or text me, then you must do so in total faith.

I don't want to waste any of my time confirming the number I gave you guys. Also, I feel insulted when I'm asked to prove it. If you're serious about closing a deal, then you must trust me.

2. How much is your rate?

I am NOT a common streetwalker. I do NOT have to fuck for the buck anymore.

IF you want to get my carnal services, though, it will cost you. I do NOT have a standard rate for my clientele--not anymore. What I want is for you to TEMPT ME WITH AN OFFER, one that would excite me, one that would promise me adventure. I like being pampered, I like being showered with gifts, I like being taken into places I've never been. Take me on a yacht, let me run around in a casino, take me shopping, buy my car a new set of mags, take me to an Usher concert, get me the latest DKNY scent. I am a very easily bored boy, you have to AROUSE me.

3. Do you have a picture on the internet?

YES. In this day and age, everybody does. However, my only photos online are in my Facebook account, and I don't want to share them to strangers because that entails exposing the people on my network, people who have no idea of THIS side of my life.

However, I UNDERSTAND that sex is a very VISUALLY engaged activity. You need to SEE how attractive I am before you close the deal.

Here's the thing. I like doing it old school. If you want to check me out first, then let's meet up in person. I don't mind being rejected to my face. If you find me unsatisfactory by your standards, then you have all the right in the world to not go on with it. I am a professional, I take nothing personally when it comes to these things.

4. When are you free?

Here's the tricky part. Nowadays, I can't say when I'm free to meet up guests / clients. Most likely, I'm free Sundays, and weekdays really, really late at night (but before midnight). Sorry, if you have something in mind, please have me booked at least two nights in advance.

5. Why aren't you answering my text?

I have grown tired of answering ALL the text messages I get because NOT EVERYONE IS SERIOUS ABOUT HOOKING UP. At first, as some of you can attest, I used to be really accommodating. I'd answer all of your questions, I'd entertain you. At some point, some of you would just not stop asking questions, engaging me in conversations that I found harder and harder to walk away from without sounding rude. Then there are those who find it in their Christian duties to hate me. Hate me for being me, hate me for being confident, and hate me for offering my company for a price they find unaffordable. Fuck you, guys. I don't have time for your shit.

6. How can we get your attention?

If you're going to contact me via the mobile number I gave, make sure of the following:

(a) you TRUST that the number belongs to me.
(b) you are SERIOUS about engaging my professional services, and you're not contacting me to be my "friend". I don't need friends, I have money.
(c) you are following this format: Make an Offer to Entice Me, Tell Me WHAT Exactly You Expect Me to Do (please, I hate it when you're trying to be coy, virginal, and at 'merely experimenting'; I have no patience to be your first time), Tell Me Your Idea of Where to Meet Up and Where to Go Afterwards.

7. I Know Who You Are.

I will deny it till I die.

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